From darkness to light: the power of therapy. And if you’re new to it, some elements that may surprise you…
I had always been deeply sceptical about therapy. Somewhere in my head, I thought it was a bit ‘woo’. Nor was I comfortable about talking to a stranger about personal issues.
However, when some years ago I was faced with a dilemma in my family, a friend urged me to reconsider. Bogged down by months of indecision, I took a big leap of faith and decided to talk to a therapist who specialised in the challenge I was facing.
Having someone listen to me in a non-judgemental way was revelatory. And my therapist was incredibly perceptive: she profoundly understood my dilemma but crucially, she helped guide me to a place where I could see it in a different light.
In doing so, I emerged from months of going round in ever-decreasing and debilitating circles and was able to take a decision and move forward. It was a huge relief. I wondered why I had been so reluctant to see a therapist in the first place.
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When you can no longer make sense of what’s going on in your head, having someone independent to walk alongside you and explore your issues is a powerful thing.
A therapist may be able to guide you out of your personal dark labyrinth back into the daylight. It’s not a given but in my case, they did.
A therapist is not there to fix you or solve your problems. They are there to listen – really listen – and understand your unique way of thinking, your personal story with its twists and turns. Only then can they attempt to metaphorically hold your hand and gently lead you on a journey of insight, exploration and challenge.
If you’re new to therapy or considering contacting a therapist, there may be some elements of therapy which surprise you.
It’s not all about your childhood
Whilst certain forms of therapy seek to understand your current behaviours and thought patterns by delving in to your childhood and family dynamics, therapy can also help you come to terms with issues that are current, such as exploring your relationships or providing you with insights as to who you are.
There are many different approaches
There are a dizzying array of therapy types available. Broadly speaking, they fall in to two categories: forward-thinking, transformative or growth-oriented therapies such as CBT or person-centred therapy, or therapies that are more focussed on understanding the present through exploration of the past, such as psychodynamic therapy. So do your research and take a look at the profiles on some of the directories such as Psychology Today, Counselling Directory or BACP to find a qualified therapist and an approach that meets your needs.
You’re not there to be ‘analysed’
Therapy has come a long way since the days of Freud whose patients would lie on a couch an await analysis. Today it is mostly person-centred, meaning that you, the client, are at the heart of the process and are considered the expert in yourself. Your therapist may be able to reframe your experiences or challenge your thought processes but they are mainly there to guide you to your own conclusions rather than offer solutions or analysis.
You may experience a range of emotions
Therapy can sometimes bring up emotions that are difficult to cope with from anger and frustration to regret or sadness. You may come out of a session feeling relieved that you have shared something that has long been unspoken, energised by the insights you have gained or exhausted from the emotional roller-coaster that you have just experienced.
Lots of therapy happens outside of the therapy room
Thinking about some of the issues you have explored in a weekly session outside of the therapy room is also common; indeed, you will undoubtedly get more out of the process if you do. Some sessions may unearth difficult memories or experiences and you may find yourself revisiting them or ruminating about them. This is an entirely normal part of the process.
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So, if you are considering therapy, don’t let scepticism get in your way.
And if you are just embarking on this journey, hang on in there!
It may take time and there may be moments of feeling stuck, as well as deep exploration.
If you are fortunate, you may find clarity, healing and a sense of weight being lifted.
A diploma qualified, integrative counsellor and registered member of the BACP, Sarah brings over 20 years’ experience of a variety of work cultures to her counselling practice, Confido Counselling, which has a focus on workplace wellbeing.
To book a free introductory call or to book an appointment, please contact: sarah@confidocounselling.co.uk
